Inviting People into Faith Conversations

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

—MATTHEW 9:10-12

One of the most common misunderstandings about the oikos principle involves the people who make up an oikos. Hans Walter Wolf, in his Anthropology of the Old Testament, describes the family unit in the Old Testament this way. “A household usually contained four generations, including men, married women, unmarried daughters, slaves of both sexes, persons without citizenship and ‘sojourners,’ or resident foreign workers.” That’s where the New Testament oikos finds its roots, and why the oik-upants consist of more than our immediate families. (See what I did there?)

All that to say, when you consider the “front row”, for virtually all of us, both believers and non-believers combine to make up the group. Yet, whenever I talk to church leaders about the oikos principle, they generally think about leveraging it to share the Gospel with non-believers, which is both understandable and desirable.

The problem is, like everyone, we all tend to migrate toward those who are like us. So, if you’re a Jesus-following, church-attending, others-serving Christian, then you’ll tend to lean into people who share that same profile, not the non-believers who are also on your list. In fact, when you think about it, it’s possible to be oikocentric yet seldom (maybe even never) get around to focusing on anyone on the list who is either unsaved or unchurched.

Can’t let that happen, Cap’n! Leaning into that part of our list where non-believers (or, as we often describe them, pre-believers), show up is uber important. But how can we find opportunities to invite them into environments where our faith takes center-stage?

The Oikos Challenge is a five-step life-structure that elevates the possibility of everyone on our list taking the next step in their spiritual journey. Yet, the five-steps themselves can be rather overwhelming. So, when you start, don’t even look at all five.

Over the last 15 years, we’ve had conversations about this idea with pastors, literally around the world. And one of the things we’ve learned is this. The only two steps in the process that are purely proactive are the first two, listing and praying. The other three are, to a significant degree, reactive. Because, beginning with step three, the strategy becomes more dependent on other people’s behavior and life rhythms. Yet only one person has anything at all to do with whether or not you’re willing to make a list and pray over it every day. That one person is you! And, this is what we’ve found. If people accept the personal responsibility to fulfill those first two parts of the challenge, they tend to find both divine direction and new energy to pursue the next three steps.

Some people see steps four and five and think, “I don’t even know how to invest in other people’s lives or invite people into faith conversations. I mean, what would I say to them?” I tell those people to stop worrying about it and make the list!

My father, who was a pastor, used to often say something at the end of a Sunday service. As “Just as I Am” was cranking up a fourth verse, he’d implore people to come to the altar and make a commitment to Jesus. “Just take the first step and God will take every other step for you.”

So true. It all starts with our intentionality. I put it this way, “There really wouldn’t be any reason for God to steer a parked car.” So, just make a list and start praying. Then watch the rest of the dominoes begin to fall into place.

If God loves people more than anything, which He obviously does. And if He sent His only Son to die for all of us, which He obviously did. And if He wants you to be part of the Great Commission, which He obviously gave all of us. And if He answers prayer, which He obviously promised He would. And if He gave us a spirit of boldness, not fear, which the Scriptures make so obviously clear. Then, you simply have to believe He'll open the door for whatever invitation eventually becomes appropriate, whether it’s an invitation to a church service, to a special event, to dinner at your house, or simply into a conversation about life. (Seems rather obvious to me!)

So, trust the process. Before you made the list, God was already at work.

(Inviting your oikos into faith conversations is just one step in The Oikos Challenge, a five-step strategy to change your world. You can read more about The Oikos Challenge in any of Tom’s three books.)